Friday, September 30, 2005
MY REVIEW OF 'THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER' SEASON 2: EPISODE 6
A fan's humorous parody of the UFC reality show and what appears to be its percieved strategy of appealing to the upper class homosexual demographic.
Hi all! I've been given the job of providing a review to Fightsport.com for each week's episode of 'The Ultimate Fighter' reality series, which is currently showing on Spike TV.
I've been contracted to write the review because I'm the only only admitted homosexual personality in MMA, and because 'The Ultimate Fighter' has a lot of homoerotic overtones to it. Basically, the review is from a queer perspective.
Enough ranting! Here's my review:
"This week's episode was easily the best episode yet. It had everything, starting off with tension, followed by excitement and an orgasmic climax, and topped off with some heartbreak along the way.
We start off with everyone's opinions on last week's fight. The tightly wound Matt Hughes is pissed off about Rashad's showboating last week, even going so far as to say that he made the right picks to who was on his team.
Or it could be Hughes was pissed off, seeing as his guy LOST. Or was that all part of his master plan, to lose? Only time will tell.
Mike is also annoyed about Rashad's shenanigans in the ring, to the point of not talking to him anymore. This leads to even more tension between these two teams full of hot-blooded men.
While Team Hughes gets double the ass rapings at training, Team Franklin lounges around at the waterpark, frollicking around in the swimming pool and just having a good old time until the gym opens. I'd LOVE to see them on the waterslides.
Let's put it this way: Team Franklin is swimming in the pool while Team Hughes is swimming in their own sweat. It's definitely a WIN-WIN situation for the viewers!
The team challenge for this week is called "The Scarecrow". One of the heavyweights has to support one of the smaller welterweights, as the itty bitty welterwight circles the heavyweight, without touching the ground. Joe and Mike start out and manage to go for 204 rotations, taking an hour and 40 minutes to complete it!
Now I have to say, I was seriously impressed when they got to 50 circles. I was even making crude jokes to my partner about Mike's sexual stamina and strength when they hit 100. By 200 I was too speechless to even crack jokes, which tells you something.
Franklin forfeits right after Joe touches the ground, which saves his guys. Whereas Mike and Joe are pretty much knocked out right now. Jorge Gurgel, the hot-blooded Latin heartthrob, is VERY pissed because he was sure that he would've done more than 200 cycles...
Day 22 comes, and the fight for the week is Jorge vs. Jason. Jorge is very excited, and so am I!
Franklin and Jorge are shown training for the upcoming fights. Jorge even says, "Tell me I'm the best!"
When I heard Jorge say that, I thought it was soooo the equivalent to a man saying "What's my name, bitch!?"
It was definitely a hot moment. As a loyal viewer of the series, I can only hope Hughes just wants to see what Jorge can do, and is using Jason as the sacrifical lamb. I'd really hate to see Jorge go off the show at this point.
Day 23: Time for the fight...
Round 1: Both men come out strong and hard, trading take downs, but neither takes good advantage of it. It looks like Jorge almost gets a rear naked choke, but Jason manages to get out of it. Jason's eye starts to bleed, and at one point Jorge loses his mouth guard.
Round 2: Jason comes back strong with some good hits, but Jorge penetrates Jason's defense and almost gets a submission hold locked on once again.
Round 3: A lot of strikes landed by both men.
In what has to be considered a very controversial judges decision, Jason is declared the winner by unanimous decision. As for my opinion on the outcome... ~HATED IT!~
Well, crap, I guess Jason wasn't so sacrifical after all. I really didn't expect him to be that good, but Jorge was fighting with an injured knee, so I guess shit happens.
As for the rest of the show, it rocked! I'm really starting to like Mike, between the foot tickling last week and the "shenangians" and marathon stamina in this episode, he's really become my one of my favorites, especially with Jorge Gurgel now gone, sigh.
Next week's team challenge appears to be mud wrestling. I don't know about the rest of you, but I can't wait for next week's episode!
Ciao!"
# posted by Andrew Bryant @ 7:27 AM 
